How You Remind Me
by Anne McSommers
Summary: songfic to Nickleback's How You Remind me. Everyhting she did reminded him of what he was, and what he would never be.
1. This Is

Angel POV

_Never made it as a wise man  
I couldn't cut it as a poor man stealin'  
Tired of livin' like a blind man  
I'm sick of sight without a sense of feeling_

The look on her face was one of pure disgust as he took another sip of blood from the cup in his hand. It was the same look she gave home every time he showed any part of what he was. Sometimes, just sometimes he could pretend it was all normal, he was as human as everyone else. Until she gave him that look.

_This is how you remind me  
This is how you remind me of what I really am  
This is how you remind me of what I really am_

Every day she reminded him of how not normal he was, of how inhuman he may always be. When she realized she was doing this she apologized, but as the months passed the apologies were fewer and farther between. She couldn't apologize to a monster, and she was beginning it realize he would never completely change. It broke his heart as he watched her loose faith in what they had. It hurt more knowing that someday she would want to leave, who could learn to love a beast?  
  
_It's not like you to say sorry, I was waiting on a different story  
This time I'm mistaken for handing you a heart worth breakin' _

What was worse though is that she knows it's coming too. She used to smile when he said he loved her and now all she does is cringe. It kills her to stay with him, a little more each day, but she won't leave. She can't leave, we're soul mates and no matter how much we both wish otherwise, we will never "love" anyone else.

_  
It's not like you didn't know that  
I said I love you and I swear I still do  
And it must have been so bad  
Cause livin' with me must have damn near killed you  
_

He took one last look at her sad face and withdrew the stake from his pocket and ended it the only way it could be ended.

_This is how you remind me of what I really am  
This is how you remind me of what I really am  
_


	2. How You

Buffy POV

_  
Never made it as a wise man  
I couldn't cut it as a poor man stealin'  
Tired of livin' like a blind man  
I'm sick of sight without a sense of feeling  
_

She stood there watching him drink the blood in his cup and she couldn't help the look of disgust that crossed her face. She knew she got that look when he went vampire-ish, she couldn't help it, he just was not normal. He would never be human and the slayer in her couldn't get over that fact. She couldn't help it.

_This is how you remind me  
This is how you remind me of what I really am  
This is how you remind me of what I really am_

Every day he reminded her of what he really was, and she knew she reminded him too. She tried to apologize, but as time passed she tried less and less. She knew it hurt him, because it hurt her too. It killed her not to love him like she used to, but she couldn't, not anymore. Eventually she knew that she would break what little hearts the two of them had left. She would have to leave, knowing was what hurt the most.  
_  
It's not like you to say sorry, I was waiting on a different story  
This time I'm mistaken for handing you a heart worth breakin'_

He says that he loves her all the time, but where it used to fill her with pleasure it now made her cringe. It killed them both to stay like that, and she'd love to leave, but she can't. They're soul mates, and that bins them to suffer together. She would never "love" someone else, so what was the point of leaving?

_It's not like you didn't know that  
I said I love you and I swear I still do  
And it must have been so bad  
Cause livin' with me must have damn near killed you  
_

Time seemed to stand still as he looked at her face, his own filled with sadness. He pulled out the stake, and before she realized what was happening she saw the love her life reduced to a mere pile of ashes. She couldn't stand the intense sense of loss. She picked up the fallen stake and joined him.

_  
This is how you remind me of what I really am  
This is how you remind me of what I really am_


	3. Remind Me, Epilogue

I found them like that later. Buffy dead over a pile of ashes. I had no doubt that the ashes were Angel's. No one else had ever seen the problems they had, all they saw was the love of two soul mates. We buried Buffy under a tree with a view of the ocean. In her arms we placed the canister of Angel's ashes. I threw a bouquet of roses on their small plaque: Angel and Buffy

Together for Eternity

_Are we havin' fun yet?_


End file.
